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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Trending via Facebook:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Making waves on Messenger:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Breaking via TikTok:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Making waves on Instagram:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

1 month ago

Witty text about how readers might think they're gaining useful knowledge.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤓📚 Did you know that according to a recent study, reading this very text made people feel like knowledgeable geniuses? Who would've thought a few words could make us feel so smart? 😂🧠 Just taking in some useful knowledge one emoji at a time!

humor, learning, people, reading, something, study, text, thought, useful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

87 shares on X this month:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

81 shares on Facebook this month:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear Santa, Money!

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,780

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Going bananas on Threads:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Spotted on Instagram:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Freshly posted on X:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Just landed via YouTube:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

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