A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

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We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

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So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

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People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

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Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

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Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

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You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

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As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

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Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

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I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

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Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.