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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Making waves on Slack:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

Just shared via Discord:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Making waves on Facebook:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Spotted on Facebook:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Going bananas on Slack:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Making waves on WeChat:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Spotted on Slack:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

4 weeks ago

Witty quote about financial creativity and imagination, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, living within your means is so last season 💁‍♀️ Who needs a budget when you have an imagination bursting with creative ways to spend money you don't have? 💸✨ Someone pass the glitter, we're about to DIY our way to financial freedom! 🌈✂️ #ImaginationsUnite"

advice, creativity, financial, financial advice, humor, imagination, lifestyle, means, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

52 shares on YouTube this month:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

82 shares on Discord this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Trending via Messenger:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Spotted on Reddit:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Shared recently on Slack:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Making waves on TikTok:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Making waves on TikTok:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

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