Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Going viral on Reddit:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Seen just now on X:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Just shared via Twitch:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Trending via Reddit:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Just landed via X:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Going viral on TikTok:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Trending via Discord:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Fashionably late to the office—because clocks are just a suggestion! ⏰😅✌️

arrival, attitude, being, being late, came, humor, i, late, least, management, never, punctuality, serious, should, time, time management, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Messenger this month:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

40 shares on X this month:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

97 shares on TikTok this month:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Today feels like a good day for a cheeseburger.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Making waves on Slack:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Just shared via TikTok:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Going viral on WeChat:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Just shared via Messenger:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Spotted on Messenger:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Just shared via Threads:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

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Activity Log ✨

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨