Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Calling me ugly isn't even an insult, because I know already.

Commentary:
“Well, thank you for the observation, Captain Obvious! 🙄 My mirror and I have already had this discussion. 💁‍♂️✨ Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and clearly, you need some new glasses! 👓😂”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of transitioning from weekend warrior to weekday workhorse! 😅 It’s like trying to jumpstart a car on a Monday morning 🚗💥 Hang in there, the weekend will circle back around eventually! ⏰🙌”

  • Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

    Commentary:
    “Good morning to everyone except the baristas who play a risky game of coffee roulette with our morning commute ☕😅 Tighten those lids, folks! #LidTighteningFail”

  • The only men you can trust is ramen.

    Commentary:
    “Ramen noodles: the true unsung heroes of the gastronomic world 🍜💪 Who needs a knight in shining armor when you’ve got a steaming bowl of savory noodles to rely on? Trust in the power of ramen to never disappoint you (or maybe just until your next meal) 😉 #RamenIsBae”

  • Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

    Commentary:
    “Why bother with fancy cocktails when the simple act of standing up quickly can give you that instant buzz? 🍸💨 Who needs a drink when you’ve got gravity on your side? 🌪️😂 #LifeHack”

  • Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

    Commentary:
    “Watching women in movies sleep so peacefully is like a dream…while I’m over here resembling a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog rolling around in my blankets! 🌭😴 #SleepGoalsVersusReality”

  • It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of night owls everywhere. Who knew that ‘too early‘ could be such a flexible concept? I guess it’s all about perspective – early to bed, early to rise, makes a person healthy, wealthy, and…well, maybe a little grumpy if they’re not a morning person!”