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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Love is in the air fryer.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Going viral on Reddit:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Just landed via Slack:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Just shared via Messenger:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Trending via X:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Going viral on Facebook:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Just landed via WeChat:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Funny message celebrating those who haven't taken down Christmas decorations yet.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Kudos to those whose Christmas decorations are still up! You're not late, you're just early for next year. Keep spreading that festive cheer year-round!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

There are too many neglected emojis.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,303

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Making waves on WeChat:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Going viral on Telegram:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Just landed via X:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Spotted on TikTok:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Just shared via Reddit:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

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