Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Making waves on X:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Trending via Slack:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Shared recently on X:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Spotted on Telegram:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Seen just now on Slack:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Making waves on WeChat:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

2 months ago

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the humble water tower – the silent overlord of town nomenclature! 🏰💧 It's like they're just daring you to forget their existence by plastering the town's name in giant letters, towering above all else. 😄 Next time you drive through a small town, remember to give a nod to the unsung hero, the water tower, without whom the town would just be… well, unnamed! 🚗🌆"

after, ever, humor, irony, names, naming, notice, observation, place, place names, tower, town, water, water tower

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

3 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas story, everyone, favorite, favorite story, humor, hypocrisy, need, red-nosed, Red-Nosed Reindeer, reindeer, Rudolph, sarcasm, selfishness, shit, something, story, treatment, treats
My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

2 months ago

adventure, buried, buried treasure, contingency, financial, financial security, finding, humor, hunt, me, plan, point, retirement, retirement plan, security, thinking, treasure, treasure hunt, wealth, wishful, wishful thinking
My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

2 months ago

adulting, back, borrowing, favorite, finance, humor, money, myself, paying, paying back, personal, personal finance, self
I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

2 months ago

blank, fitness, forgetfulness, gym, humor, i, irony, just, memory, name, saying
The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

2 months ago

activity, back, back rub, couple, frequent, fun, fun activity, give, give and take, giving, good, humor, marriage, relationship, rub, secret, take, takeout
My bank account is also in retrograde.

2 months ago

account, astrology, bank, bank account, finance, humor, joke, money, retrograde

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

21 shares on X this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

25 shares on X this month:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

94 shares on Threads this month:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason someone burns sage.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Trending via Instagram:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Making waves on Instagram:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Making waves on Instagram:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Just shared via Telegram:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴