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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Spotted on Instagram:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

Live now on Facebook:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Just shared via Messenger:

Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the humble water tower – the silent overlord of town nomenclature! 🏰💧 It's like they're just daring you to forget their existence by plastering the town's name in giant letters, towering above all else. 😄 Next time you drive through a small town, remember to give a nod to the unsung hero, the water tower, without whom the town would just be… well, unnamed! 🚗🌆"

after, ever, humor, irony, names, naming, notice, observation, place, place names, tower, town, water, water tower

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

12 shares on Discord this month:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Just shared via Messenger:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Trending via Snapchat:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

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