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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Just shared via YouTube:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Spotted on Facebook:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Trending via TikTok:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Spreading quickly via X:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about embracing cozy, lazy days with humor and comfort during rot girl summer.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a cozy summer transformation! Who needs a tan when you can have a comforter tan? 🛌📚☕️#RotGirlSummer

bed, blanket, blankets, book, books, care, cozy, forget, girl, hot, hot girl summer, layers, laying, reading, relaxation, rot, rot girl summer, self, self-care, soft, summer, under

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

75 shares on X this month:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

64 shares on X this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

48 shares on Slack this month:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

64 shares on Threads this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

Seen just now on X:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

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Activity Log ✨

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Keep the laugh going 😂

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨