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I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

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The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

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Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

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If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, Iโ€™d be Michelangelo.

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You’re my least favourite notification.

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A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

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I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

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