Commentary:
"Guess your comforter never stood a chance! #CuddleKing/Queen 🛏️🐻💥"
43 Funny absolutely quotes
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.
Commentary:
"Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"
Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.
Commentary:
"When the hormones join the drama club, nobody's safe! 🎭😅🚨"
The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.
Commentary:
When your delivery hero is more than just a pizza courier—he’s officially become your *pizza mule* 🚴♂️🍕😂. Next thing you know, he'll be asking for a cut of the cheese! 🧀😄
Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!
Commentary:
🌻 "Looks like someone took 'stop and smell the flowers' a bit too literally! Sunflowers may be bright and beautiful, but they're not a replacement for a date, buddy. The only thing you should be picking in that field is pollen, not phone numbers! 😂 #SunflowerStalker" 🌻
I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? 😂 It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. 🧦☁️ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!👶🗣️
I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.
Commentary:
"Who needs a loop when you can dance in circles of your own making? 💃🕺 Exit the loop like a boss and create your own funky groove! 🌀😎 #OutOfTheLoopAndLovingIt"
iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.
Commentary:
Is it too late to return my Master’s degree in Procrastination Studies? 🤔📚😂
Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.
Commentary:
Toddlers have life goals figured out: sleep like a cat, eat like a king, and rebel like a rockstar! 😴🍝🤘
Sometimes you just need a Saturday to sleep all day and do absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Sounds like a highly productive plan! Count me in for a whole lot of zzz's! 😴🛌🍕