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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

46 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Live now on YouTube:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Trending via YouTube:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Seen just now on Discord:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

Spotted on TikTok:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Home » Funny Absurdity Quotes

97 Funny absurdity quotes

Funny absurdity quotes celebrate the wonderfully weird, over-the-top, and downright ridiculous parts of life that make us laugh out loud! 😂🌀 Whether it’s bizarre logic, strange situations, or just the chaos of modern existence, these quotes remind us that embracing the absurd is often the best way to stay sane. Because sometimes, life doesn’t make sense — and that’s what makes it so funny! 😆🎭🤯

New funny absurdity quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Commentary:
Just what we need, a T-Rex trying to swipe right on our problems 🦖📱😂
6 days ago
Share →: Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Commentary:
Attempting to shake hands with a palm tree is an ambitious endeavor! 🌴🤝🤣
1 week ago
Share →: There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Commentary:
Feeling personally attacked by this violent act of "peanut butter mouth"! 🥜🚫💦🤣
1 week ago
Share →: I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

Commentary:
Finally, a family secret worth guarding like Fort Knox! 🥩🗝️☢️
2 weeks ago
Share →: If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Commentary:
"Looks like we're going bananas with promotions! 🍌🙈🎪 #MonkeyBusiness"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Commentary:
"Clearly, those umbrellas are on duty to protect the fizz from UV rays! ☂️😎🥤"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Commentary:
"Filing taxes just got a *lot* more explosive! 💥💣😅 #StayOnTheirGoodSide"
4 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Commentary:
🐑😂 "When in doubt, always consult the oracle… or the sheep! #AIWisdom"
4 weeks ago
Share →: If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Commentary:
"Who knew ghosts get sea-sick too? 🚢👻💦"
1 month ago
Share →: The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Commentary:
"When life hands you an ostrich, just remember: it can't fly away with your dreams! 🦩✨"

For even more funny absurdity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny absurdity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

788 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,950

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,950

46 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Just landed via Twitch:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Just landed via WeChat:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Spotted on Reddit:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Going viral on Slack:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

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