97 Funny absurdity quotes

• Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

  ---

  1 hour ago

  absurdity, Dave, humor, microwave, name, poetry, randomness, red, roses, roses are red, sense

• I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

  ---

  4 hours ago

  absurdity, activity, end, food, fun, fun activity, humor, i, imagination, mashed, mashed potato, pool, potato, swim, wonder

• Absurdity is the spice of life.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, fun, humor, irony, life, quirkiness, spice

• Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry

• Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, comparison, fit, hand, humor, irony, nature, palm, palm tree, size, size comparison, tree

• There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, butter, crime, drink, feeding, food, funny scenario, giving, humor, joke, nothing, peanut, peanut butter, prank, sandwich, scenario, should, someone, story, thirst, true

• I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, comedy, family, grandmother, humor, i, joke, meatloaf, metal, playful, quirky, recipe, wrist

• If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, buy, circus, humor, i, irony, joke, management, manager, monkey

• Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, comedy, humor, irony, lighthearted, little, paper, parody, question, quirk, trying

• I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

  ---

  2 months ago

  absurdity, away, believe, comedy, days, government, having, humor, i, IRS, joke, nuclear, nuclear weapon, satire, weapon

All funny absurdity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌