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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Donโ€™t check on your introverted friends this time of year. Theyโ€™re probably turning their lights off and pretending theyโ€™re not home.

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There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

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Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

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If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

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Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

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I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

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Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

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Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Iโ€™m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

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