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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,985

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,985

20 seconds ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Trending via YouTube:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Just shared via Messenger:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Just shared via Slack:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Home » Funny Alone Quotes » Page 8

75 Funny alone quotes

More funny alone quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Netflix & by yourself.

Commentary:
"Netflix & by yourself: the ultimate duo for a wild Friday night 🍿📺 Who needs a party when you've got the best company around? 😂 #NetflixAndChillByMyself"
6 months ago
Share →: Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Commentary:
"True friendship is not just about sharing good times, but also ensuring that the bad decisions are made together! 🤪👯‍♂️ #PartnersInCrime #FriendshipGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of life: battling with sunscreen like it's a hide and seek champion 🤔🌞 Who needs enemies when you've got your elusive back as your nemesis? 🤷‍♂️😂 #SunscreenWars"
6 months ago
Share →: Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive quest for solitude and mental preparation in the wee hours of the morning – the ultimate life hack for introverts and morning birds alike! 🌅☕️ Just don't hit the snooze button too many times, or you might run out of hours to prep and end up diving headfirst into the chaos! ⏰😅 #MorningMentor #AloneTimeAlchemist"
6 months ago
Share →: Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: to Netflix and bark or to not Netflix and bark? 🤔🐾 Normal is just a setting on the dryer, right? 🧺🐶 #DogParentLife"

For even more funny alone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,985

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,985

20 seconds ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Going viral on YouTube:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Just shared via Twitch:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Spotted on Slack:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

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