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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me places. I was cesarean. I didn’t want to come out then and I certainly don’t want to now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

22 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Just shared via Slack:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Spotted on YouTube:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Live now on Messenger:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Reported on Reddit:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Seen just now on Slack:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Home » Funny Alzheimer’s Quotes

Funny Alzheimer’s quotes

New funny Alzheimer’s quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of selective amnesia blended with a touch of marital honesty! 🤣 It seems like your wife might need a memory boost or maybe just some upgraded rose-tinted glasses! 👓💭 Just remind her of your charm and wit, and she'll remember why she fell for you in the first place! 😉🌟

For even more funny Alzheimer’s quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Alzheimer’s quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

22 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Spreading quickly via X:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Trending via WeChat:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Making waves on Slack:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

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