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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as β€œelderly.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has shared:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Twitch:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Seen just now on Messenger:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Live now on WeChat:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep β€” and that’s so irritating.

Live now on Snapchat:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Seen just now on Discord:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Just shared via Facebook:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going viral on Messenger:

Texting him β€œHappy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Trending via TikTok:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Making waves on Telegram:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

61 Funny anger quotes

Funny anger quotes πŸ˜‚ are the perfect remedy when you’re on the brink of turning green with rage 🍏. These witty words of wisdom transform your fury into fits of laughter, making steam-ears more amusing than alarming πŸš€. Whether you’re dealing with spilled coffee or an uncooperative Wi-Fi, a dash of humor can turn frustration into fun πŸŽ‰. Get ready to giggle your way through grumpy moods and make your angry moments a little brighter! πŸ˜„

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All funny anger quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on YouTube this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

43 shares on Discord this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

41 shares on X this month:

I often got called β€œan old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has copied:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has shared:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

When someone giving me directions says, β€œYou can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has shared:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Threads:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Just landed via Instagram:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Just shared via X:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Breaking via TikTok:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Going bananas on Instagram:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Trending via Instagram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Breaking via Discord:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

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