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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Just shared via X:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Making waves on YouTube:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Making waves on X:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Going viral on Twitch:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Just shared via Messenger:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

55 Funny annoying quotes

More funny annoying quotes 👇

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

2 months ago

annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret
Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

2 months ago

annoying, annoying behavior, behavior, empty, empty seat, everyone, except, full, good, good morning, morning, next, people, right, room, seat, seats, sit, whole
God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

2 months ago

annoying, God, humor, ID, me, personality, powerful, relationship, too, woman, women
Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

2 months ago

annoying, anxiety, being, chest, chest pain, discomfort, fear, i, me, need, nervousness, pain, public, public speaking, shy, shyness, speak, speaking, why
So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

2 months ago

annoying, awkward, baking, bathroom, cake, doing, door, family, funny situation, humor, joking, privacy, situation, toilet
Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, behavior, comedy, cost-free, costs, digital, digital interaction, dollars, guys, humor, interaction, internet, online, online behavior, remember, strangers, zero
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, before, conduct, digital, digital interaction, exit, exit interview, humor, i, interaction, interview, me, media, online, online humor, pretty, social, social media, someone, unfollow
I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

2 months ago

annoying, compliment, focus, full, got, humor, i, irony, joke, only, positive, positivity, pretty, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sentence, things, today, well, wit
You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, entertainment, essay, humor, incorrect, irony, preference, realization, realize, something, video, video essay, YouTube
Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

2 months ago

alone, annoying, anxiety, around, avoidance, being, comfort, home, house, humor, introvert, leave, never, people, privacy, public, remember, social, social anxiety, solitude, worry

For even more funny annoying quotes, hit next 👇

All funny annoying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

50 shades of single.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

78 shares on Instagram this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Spotted on Slack:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Activity Log ✨

55 Funny annoying quotes

More funny annoying quotes 👇

All funny annoying quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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