Wordgag ツ

Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Commentary:
💸💡 "In order to protect your precious bank account from the dangers of impulsive spending, why not enlist the services of a wise old bridge troll? Their riddles will keep your wallet safe and your budget in check! Just remember, if the answer to the riddle is 'buy now, buy later, or buy never,' maybe reconsider that purchase! 🌉🧙‍♂️"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Commentary:
"Well, the conversation might have been going in one ear and out the other, but at least there was a smooth flow 🌊! Who needs to repeat when both parties are in their own world 🌎? It's like a mutual telepathic agreement of selective hearing 🙉! Just nod and smile, folks, nod and smile 😄👂!"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of raising teens – the masters of independence and the art of wallet whispering simultaneously! 🤑👩‍👧‍👦💸 #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"
Jan 25, 2025
Share →: Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring old slide when you can have a dinosaur ride to wrap up the day?! 🦕 Just imagine the looks on your coworkers' faces as you cruise past them in style! Definitely an epic way to end the workday, for sure! 😂"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Commentary:
"Next level parenting move: Start the 'are we there yet?' interrogation before your kids even have a chance to ask. 😆🚗 #ParentingPro"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Commentary:
"Being an adult is basically just asking the babysitter for the curfew instead of the other way around. 🙈⏰ #GrowingUpButNotReally"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of parental psychology: Want your kid to magically become motivated to do homework? Just mention chores! 🧹💡 It's amazing how the promise of algebra suddenly makes folding laundry seem like the better option. 📚➡️🧺 #ParentingHack"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Commentary:
"Before diving into parenthood, remember: kids are experts at pushing your patience to new heights! 🤪👶 #ParentingAdventures #StayingZen"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Commentary:
"Why are you still single?" they ask, unaware that singles are actually part of an exclusive secret society 🤫🤐 Their success lies in the mysterious oaths they've taken and the secret love potion they keep hidden in their mismatched socks drawer! 🧦💕 #SingleAndSecretive #SquadGoals