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115 Funny awkward quotes

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

2 weeks ago

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

2 weeks ago

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

2 weeks ago

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

2 weeks ago

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

2 weeks ago

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

3 weeks ago

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

1 month ago

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

1 month ago

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

1 month ago

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

1 month ago

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

1 month ago

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

1 month ago

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

1 month ago

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

1 month ago

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

1 month ago

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

1 month ago

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

2 months ago

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

2 months ago

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

2 months ago

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

2 months ago