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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Dear Santa, Money!

Seen just now on Telegram:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Broadcasted on X:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on X:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just landed via Telegram:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Spotted on Discord:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Spotted on Messenger:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

103 Funny baby quotes

Funny baby quotes offer a delightful glimpse into the adorable and unpredictable world of infants! 👶😂 From unexpected outbursts to charmingly silly moments, these quotes capture the humor and joy that come with having a little one around. Get ready to smile at the cuteness and comedy of baby life! 😄🍼

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All funny baby quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

77 shares on X this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A selfie only a mother could like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Just shared via Snapchat:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending via Messenger:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Making waves on Instagram:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Going viral on X:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Making waves on Telegram:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

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