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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1873 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,035

Funny Quotes Topics

14,822

Funny Quotes Images

12,035

5 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Shared recently on Discord:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Spotted on X:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Spotted on WeChat:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Just landed via Discord:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Seen just now on Threads:

Time needs a speed limit.

Just landed via Snapchat:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Just shared via Facebook:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Home » Funny Balance Quotes » Page 6

56 Funny balance quotes

More funny balance quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Commentary:
"Parenting: where the line between 'rocking it' and 'almost causing a wakeup apocalypse' is as thin as a screen protector! 🤳😴⚖️ #ParentingBalance"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Commentary:
"Life is full of unexpected plot twists, just like thinking you're in for a chill 'lean-back' moment, only to be rudely introduced to the world of 'balancing act on a stool' 😂🪑 #UnexpectedChairDrama"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Commentary:
"Who needs a scale when your grudges are doing all the heavy lifting? 💪🏼😅 Remember, emotional baggage weighs more than any dumb old scale can measure! 🛍️"
6 months ago
Share →: Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Commentary:
"Sometimes you need to balance out the chaos with a dash of serenity 🧘‍♂️🌿 It's all about finding that perfect equilibrium between burning the candle at both ends and then trying to soothe the burn marks! 🕯️🔥😅 #SelfCareStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Commentary:
"If only my bank balance could match the extravagance of my daily calorie intake! 🍔💸 Oh, the dreams we dare to dream between the fries and the funds… 😅 #LifeGoals #FoodieFinance"
6 months ago
Share →: I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't have both? 🤷‍♀️💪🍗 Work hard for that hot body, but never say no to some hot wings! Balance is key, right? 😉🔥 #FitnessGoalsVsFoodGoals"

For even more funny balance quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny balance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1873 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,035

Funny Quotes Topics

14,822

Funny Quotes Images

12,035

5 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Reported on Messenger:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Reported on Slack:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Spotted on Discord:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Seen just now on Reddit:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Spotted on Threads:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

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