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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Live now on Threads:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Going viral on YouTube:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Just landed via Threads:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Trending via Threads:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Reported on Facebook:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Spotted on Instagram:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Going viral on Threads:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Reported on Instagram:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

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