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120 Funny body quotes

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

3 months ago

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

3 months ago

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

3 months ago

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

3 months ago

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

3 months ago

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

3 months ago

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

3 months ago

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

3 months ago

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

3 months ago

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

3 months ago

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

3 months ago

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

3 months ago

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

3 months ago

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

3 months ago

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

3 months ago

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

3 months ago

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

3 months ago

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

3 months ago

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

3 months ago

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

3 months ago

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

3 months ago

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

3 months ago

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

3 months ago

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

3 months ago

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

3 months ago

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

3 months ago

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

3 months ago

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

3 months ago

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

3 months ago

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

3 months ago