Funny quotes ยป boss ยป Page 4

39 Funny boss quotes

More funny boss quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

  • My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

    Commentary:
    Looks like you’ve mastered the art of workplace efficiency: Boss leaves, productivity soars! 🚀💼 Keep up the good work – maybe you’ll get promoted to “Boss in Absentia” soon! 😉👏

  • My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like being a ‘sleeping beauty’ doesn’t impress everyone! 😴💁‍♀️ Maybe your boss prefers a more ‘awake and working hard’ look instead! 😂💼”

  • Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

    Commentary:
    “Me: *sends enthusiastic text about work*

    Boss: *ignores*

    Me: *cries in emojis* 😭💔

    Who knew excitement was a one-sided affair at the office? 🤷‍♂️💼 #MondayBlues”

  • My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘it’s not rocket science’ advice from the boss! 🚀 Well, I guess when you think about it, pretty much everything falls into the ‘not rocket science’ category, right? 😂 #EverydayGenius”

  • My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like the presentation itself was the real joke! 💸😅 Hope the punchline was worth it, or at least enough to cover the disappointment. #CorporateHumor”

  • Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, holiday dinners with family: where the food is good, the arguments are better, and the loot is… well, let’s just say you’re better off salvaging scraps from a level 1 goblin 😂🍗👪💰 #NotAllTreasuresAreGold”

  • Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

    Commentary:
    “Taking therapy to a whole new level: from patient to therapist hunter! 🦸‍♂️💥 Final boss defeat achieved – My life may be a trainwreck, but at least I’m the conductor! 🚂😂”

  • I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a gentle dive when you can make a splashy entrance like a boss? 💦😎 Watch out for flying conclusions, coming in hot! 🔥 #CannonballMaster”

  • Apparently โ€œew noโ€ is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I donโ€™t want more responsibility at work.

    Commentary:
    🤷‍♂️ When “ew no” meets the professional world, things can get a little tricky! 🙈 Apparently, not all bosses speak the language of “ew no” fluently. Time to brush up on those communication skills, or just stick to the good ol’ eye roll and heavy sigh combo. 😉 #ProfessionalCommunicationFail

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