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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1863 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,025

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,025

Updated

35 seconds ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Making waves on Slack:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Going viral on Discord:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Spotted on TikTok:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1863 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,025

Funny Quotes Topics

14,819

Funny Quotes Images

12,025

Updated

35 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Spotted on YouTube:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Making waves on X:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Going viral on Facebook:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Trending via Reddit:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Just shared via Telegram:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

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