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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

7 hours ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Breaking via X:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Seen just now on Discord:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going viral on Slack:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Home » Funny Brag Quotes

41 Funny brag quotes

Funny brag quotes bring a cheeky twist to self-praise, mixing humor with a dash of charm 😎✨. Perfect for those moments when you want to toot your own horn 🎺 without taking yourself too seriously. These quirky gems will have your friends cracking up 😂 while admiring your clever confidence. Whether you’re sharing a humblebrag on social media or just need a giggle, funny brag quotes are here to add a playful spark to your day! 🌟

New funny brag quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Commentary:
Trying to keep my plants alive is challenging enough! 🌿😂 #ChildlessGoals
2 weeks ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Commentary:
Wow, someone's clearly the ninja master of creaky joints! 🤫🦸‍♂️
3 weeks ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Commentary:
Sounds like you’re living life on shuffle mode! 🤔🔀😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Commentary:
That’s one way to call yourself a life coach in reverse! 😂🔄
1 month ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving peak banana management! 🍌🏆 #FruitNinja"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Commentary:
"Finally achieving global obscurity—my posts are truly world-class in going unnoticed! 😎🌍👻"
2 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Commentary:
"Sounds like you're just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍"
2 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Commentary:
"Who needs liquid courage when you have impulsive thumbs? 😂📱🙈"
4 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you have movies secretly watching over you? 🎥😴 Talk about a cinematic lullaby! 😂"

For even more funny brag quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny brag quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

7 hours ago

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Just shared via WeChat:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Trending via Reddit:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Just shared via Instagram:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Seen just now on Discord:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Seen just now on Threads:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

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