Funny quotes brag

32 Funny brag quotes

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

3 weeks ago

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

1 month ago

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

1 month ago

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

1 month ago

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

2 months ago

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

2 months ago

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

3 months ago

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

3 months ago

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

3 months ago

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

3 months ago

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

3 months ago

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

3 months ago

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

3 months ago

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

3 months ago