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36 Funny brag quotes

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18 hours ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving peak banana management! 🍌🏆 #FruitNinja"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Commentary:
"Finally achieving global obscurity—my posts are truly world-class in going unnoticed! 😎🌍👻"
1 month ago
Share →: Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Commentary:
"Sounds like you're just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍"
1 month ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Commentary:
"Who needs liquid courage when you have impulsive thumbs? 😂📱🙈"
3 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Commentary:
"Who needs a night light when you have movies secretly watching over you? 🎥😴 Talk about a cinematic lullaby! 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs alcohol for a little dose of stupidity anyway? Some of us are naturally gifted in that department!"
3 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Commentary:
"Who needs alcohol to regret life choices when you've got natural talent? It's like a superpower, just with more facepalms and less capes."
3 months ago
Share →: Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Commentary:
"Who knew that mastering the art of relaxation and zen could be so competitive? Watch out, this blood pressure machine might just challenge you to a rematch!"
4 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Commentary:
"Who needs proof when I am living proof! 👀✨ Don't worry, I won't hold it against you for not being as invisible as me!"
4 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Commentary:
"Oh, to bypass the mid-life crisis and dive right into perfecting the art of crankiness! 🙄👴 No time for flashy sports cars or questionable fashion choices, just pure unadulterated curmudgeonliness ahead! 😂 #AgeBeforeCrankiness"