I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

I need a chiropractor for my brain.