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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Just landed via X:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Just shared via Threads:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Just landed via Discord:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Going viral on Telegram:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Making waves on Telegram:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Making waves on Pinterest:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

113 Funny brain quotes

Funny brain quotes provide a light-hearted look at the quirks and complexities of our minds! 🧠😂 Whether it’s poking fun at memory lapses or the oddities of thinking, these quotes will make you smile while contemplating the wonders of your brain. Enjoy a chuckle at the inner workings of your noggin! 😆🧩

New funny brain quotes 👇

My most abusive relationship is with my own brain.

1 week ago

abusive, abusive relationship, brain, health, humor, mental, mental health, most, own, relationship, self
Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

1 week ago

attractive, attractiveness, brain, compliment, developed, frontal, frontal lobe, humor, intelligence, lobe, man, most, muscle
When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

1 week ago

amore, brain, gun, humor, pun, suicide, wordplay
That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

1 week ago

brain, came, humor, just, only, thinking, wit
They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

1 week ago

bad, brain, humor, inner, inner voice, invent, invention, mind, negative, negative thought, self-talk, should, things, thought, voice, whisper
Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

1 week ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

1 week ago

brain, distraction, going, humor, i, love, mind, only, overthinking, think, thought
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

1 week ago

across, book, brain, character, character name, characters, coming, confusion, every, humor, just, know, name, pronounce, pronunciation, reading, rest, time
Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

1 week ago

around, brain, brains, diarrhea, everyone, going, humor, just, mouth, nonsense, place, talking, vomiting, whatever
All quiet on the frontal lobe.

1 week ago

brain, frontal, frontal lobe, humor, lobe, pun, quiet

For even more funny brain quotes, hit next 👇

All funny brain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,454

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Live now on Slack:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Just shared via Reddit:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Just landed via WeChat:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Just landed via WeChat:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Freshly posted on Threads:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Spotted on TikTok:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

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