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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Just landed via Twitch:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Just landed via Discord:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just shared via Discord:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Making waves on Messenger:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Just landed via X:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

52 Funny broke quotes

More funny broke quotes 👇

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

2 months ago

breakup, broke, food, french, french fry, fry, guy, half, humor, i, loneliness, lonely, memory, once, relationship, snack, still, think
If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

3 months ago

around, broke, friendship, humor, i, lottery, me, mean, money, move, neighborhood, relocation, truly, wealth, wealthy, win
You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

3 months ago

advice, breakup, broke, couple, Google, humor, relationship, should
People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

3 months ago

broke, humor, irony, just, lifestyle, minimalist, money, people, think
I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

3 months ago

broke, financial, financial struggle, humor, i, joke, memory, money, remember, self-deprecating, self-deprecating humor, still, struggle, well, why
“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

3 months ago

always, broke, budget, financial, humor, irony, sale, shopping, spending
Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

3 months ago

advice, always, broke, dark, dark humor, financial, financial advice, humor, irony, money, motive, murder, stay, stay broke
Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

3 months ago

bad, bad outfit, broke, clothes, clothes hanger, fashion, hanger, humor, just, outfit, outfits, superstition, wardrobe
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

3 months ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

3 months ago

apology, back, breakup, broke, desire, humor, i, morning, relationship, sleep, sorry, want

For even more funny broke quotes, hit next 👇

All funny broke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

35 shares on Slack this month:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

33 shares on X this month:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

84 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

There is too much happening for mid-December. Where are the canceled meetings? Why are we not circling back next year?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Just landed via Telegram:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Live now on YouTube:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Just shared via Discord:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Making waves on Discord:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Activity Log ✨

52 Funny broke quotes

More funny broke quotes 👇

All funny broke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨