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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1914 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,076

Funny Quotes Topics

14,856

Funny Quotes Images

12,076

3 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Reported on X:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Making waves on Threads:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Just landed via Instagram:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Trending via Facebook:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Home » Funny Butter Quotes » Page 2

12 Funny butter quotes

More funny butter quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Commentary:
"Because let's be honest, who needs a regular-sized bag when you can have a family-sized one? 🥜🍫 Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility… and in this case, great temptation! 😋 #PeanutButterM&MsAreLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Commentary:
🧐🤔 "Who are these daring renegades choosing unsalted butter over the salty delights of life? Are they secretly training their taste buds for a covert mission to bland-land? Or perhaps they just enjoy living life on the edge, one pat of butter at a time? 🤪🥞 #ButterMystery #SaltyNotSorry"

For even more funny butter quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny butter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1914 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,076

Funny Quotes Topics

14,856

Funny Quotes Images

12,076

3 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Spotted on Twitch:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Reported on Instagram:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Going viral on Threads:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Just landed via Twitch:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Spotted on TikTok:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

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