Funny quotes car

87 Funny car quotes

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

Funny Quotes Mar 6, 2025

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Funny Quotes Jan 29, 2025

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025