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87 Funny car quotes

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

3 weeks ago

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

3 weeks ago

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

3 weeks ago

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

1 month ago

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

1 month ago

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

1 month ago

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

1 month ago

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

1 month ago

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

2 months ago

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

2 months ago

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

2 months ago

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

2 months ago

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

3 months ago

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

3 months ago

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

3 months ago

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

3 months ago

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

3 months ago

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

3 months ago

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

3 months ago

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

3 months ago