138 Funny car quotes — Wordgag ツ

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

2 days ago2 days ago

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

1 week ago1 week ago

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Stop dating if you have no car.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

1 month ago1 month ago

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

1 month ago1 month ago

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

1 month ago1 month ago

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

2 months ago2 months ago

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

2 months ago2 months ago

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

2 months ago2 months ago

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

2 months ago2 months ago

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

2 months ago2 months ago

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

2 months ago2 months ago

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

2 months ago2 months ago

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

2 months ago2 months ago

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

2 months ago2 months ago

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

2 months ago2 months ago

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

2 months ago2 months ago