155 Funny car quotes

• Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

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  5 days ago

  car, Christmas, Christmas Eve, eve, family, holiday, honey, humor, procrastination, store

• Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

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  1 week ago

  car, car repair, carey, cd, Christmas, Christmas CD, fine, holiday, holiday music, making, mariah, Mariah Carey, mechanic, music, noise, repair, terrible

• Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

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  2 weeks ago

  age, am, being, call, car, car warranty, check, check-up, day, every, humor, i, India, little, me, older, older age, phone, phone call, scam, scam call, someone, telemarketing, warranty

• Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

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  2 weeks ago

  accident, accidents, back, car, car insurance, end, give, having, insurance, insurance policy, money, policy, refund, reward, safety, safety reward, should, year

• Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

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  3 weeks ago

  another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should

• It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

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  4 weeks ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, car, fear, going, hear, late, late night, me, night, night sound, road, sound, stay, staying, staying up late, where

• Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

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  4 weeks ago

  2012, adulthood, car, crying, emotion, humor, just, nostalgia, saying, song

• Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

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  1 month ago

  90, blue, blue light, car, crazy, driving, enforcement, going, law, law enforcement, light, lights, lol, me, police, red, red light, sarcasm, speeding, stupid, tailgate, top, traffic, while

• Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

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  2 months ago

  boyfriend, car, direction, driving, funny statement, humor, incompetence, incorrect, just, malice, never, relationship, statement

• I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

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  2 months ago

  admiration, attraction, beautiful, beautiful woman, car, compliment, fire, flattery, humor, i, inside, love, woman

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