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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Just landed via WeChat:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Just landed via Threads:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Just shared via Twitch:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

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Funny career joke quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Broadcasted on Discord:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Making waves on Threads:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Going viral on X:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Just landed via Messenger:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

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