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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Going viral on Reddit:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Shared recently on Messenger:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Live now on Twitch:

I just found out I have to go on dates to get a boyfriend. I’m sick to my stomach.

Just landed via YouTube:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Just shared via Threads:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Funny cashiers quotes

Funny cashiers quotes bring the checkout line to life with laughs and unexpected wit 😄🛒 Whether scanning groceries or juggling snacks, these quick quips show the lighter side of retail life 💬✨ Ready to smile next time you’re at the register? Let’s dive into the funniest moments from behind the counter that prove cashiers have the best sense of humor! 😂💳

New funny cashiers quotes 👇

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

6 days ago

automation, cashier, cashiers, consumer, consumer price, debate, economy, living, living wage, paying, price, prices, retail, self-checkout, wage, wage debate, why
I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

1 week ago

authenticity, cashier, cashiers, check, counterfeit, counterfeit money, dollar, Dollar Tree, feel, frustration, handling, hate, humor, i, Karen, money, money handling, need, real, shopping, tree
The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

1 week ago

cashiers, convenience, frustration, humor, idiots, problem, retail, self-checkout, shopping, technology

All funny cashiers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

45 shares on WeChat this month:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Broadcasted on X:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Spotted on Messenger:

Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.

Making waves on Discord:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Trending via Twitch:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴