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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has shared:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has viewed:

8 year gap on resume that just says β€œkarate”.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has shared:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, β€œI don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Making waves on WeChat:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Going viral on Messenger:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Just shared via Threads:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Just landed via Telegram:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Making waves on X:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Just landed via Slack:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Trending via Reddit:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Funny cashiers quotes

Funny cashiers quotes bring the checkout line to life with laughs and unexpected wit πŸ˜„πŸ›’ Whether scanning groceries or juggling snacks, these quick quips show the lighter side of retail life πŸ’¬βœ¨ Ready to smile next time you’re at the register? Let’s dive into the funniest moments from behind the counter that prove cashiers have the best sense of humor! πŸ˜‚πŸ’³

New funny cashiers quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny cashiers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

74 shares on Slack this month:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

54 shares on Threads this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

27 shares on X this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Live now on Telegram:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Shared recently on Reddit:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Making waves on Pinterest:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

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