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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

35 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Making waves on Messenger:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Reported on Telegram:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Going viral on Facebook:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Home » Funny Celebrity Quotes

39 Funny celebrity quotes

Funny celebrity quotes are like a burst of laughter from your favorite stars 🌟, revealing their quirky humor and wit 😂. Whether they’re making fun of themselves or playfully roasting their friends, these quotes offer a glimpse into the lighter side of fame 😜. Dive into a world where A-listers show off their comedic chops, reminding us all that even the rich and famous love a good laugh 🤣. Get ready to chuckle!

New funny celebrity quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day soap opera: Watching other people have fun while we're at home in our pajamas… living the dream! 🍿🛋️😂
6 days ago
Share →: I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
1 week ago
Share →: Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Commentary:
Wow, I guess someone's expecting a Titanic love story in about 25 years! 🚢😂👶
1 week ago
Share →: I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Commentary:
As long as his middle name isn't "Mond," we're safe from a truly dreadful start to the week! 😅🎶
3 weeks ago
Share →: “Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Commentary:
"Watching 'Real Housewives' is the closest I’ll ever get to a successful acting career! 🎬😂 #NoOscarsNeeded"
1 month ago
Share →: Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Commentary:
"From shaken, not stirred to southern detective drawl—Daniel Craig just can't resist a good mystery! 🕵️‍♂️🔍🍸 #From007toDubyaDubyaDubya"
2 months ago
Share →: The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Commentary:
"Just made eye contact with Tom Cruise in my dreams and I'm pretty sure the national anthem started playing. 🎶🇺🇸😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Commentary:
"Guess my wallet's ready to hit 'Baby One More Time'! 💸👛😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Commentary:
"I agree! I miss the good old days when the only mystery was how on earth they got their hair so perfect! 😂✨🤷‍♂️"
2 months ago
Share →: I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Commentary:
"Probably writing another hit about how she needs to call her BFF… and yes, that’s you! 😂🎶 #SwiftSquad"

For even more funny celebrity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny celebrity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

35 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Spotted on WeChat:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Breaking via Discord:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Seen just now on X:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Just shared via Facebook:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Making waves on Instagram:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

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