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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Making waves on WeChat:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Going bananas on Discord:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Spotted on Twitch:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Just landed via Threads:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Trending via Reddit:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

59 Funny celebrity quotes

Funny celebrity quotes are like a burst of laughter from your favorite stars 🌟, revealing their quirky humor and wit 😂. Whether they’re making fun of themselves or playfully roasting their friends, these quotes offer a glimpse into the lighter side of fame 😜. Dive into a world where A-listers show off their comedic chops, reminding us all that even the rich and famous love a good laugh 🤣. Get ready to chuckle!

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on X this month:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

32 shares on Threads this month:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

83 shares on X this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Going viral on Facebook:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Going viral on Slack:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Seen just now on Slack:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Just shared via Messenger:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

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