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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Trending via WeChat:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Going viral on Telegram:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Just landed via Telegram:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Funny colonoscopy quotes

Funny colonoscopy quotes bring a hilarious twist to an otherwise awkward experience 😅🩺 Whether you’re prepping for the big day or just love a good laugh, these witty lines will have you giggling through the nerves 😂💩 From clever one-liners to cheeky jokes, get ready to lighten the mood and turn those jitters into chuckles! 🎉✨ #HealthcareHumor #LaughItOff

New funny colonoscopy quotes 👇

All funny colonoscopy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

71 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

62 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Spotted on TikTok:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Making waves on Slack:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Going viral on X:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Trending via X:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Making waves on Slack:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Trending via Messenger:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

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