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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Just shared via WeChat:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Trending via Telegram:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Just landed via Facebook:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Breaking via X:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Just landed via Threads:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Shared recently on X:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Trending via Telegram:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

64 Funny coming quotes

Funny coming quotes are the secret ingredient to adding a sprinkle of laughter to any moment 😄✨ Whether you’re looking to lighten up a conversation or simply want a giggle, these hilarious quips pack a punch of humor 😂😜 Get ready to chuckle as we dive into a collection of witty and whimsical lines that will leave you smiling from ear to ear 😁🎉 Perfect for sharing with friends or enjoying a solo laugh fest!

New funny coming quotes 👇

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

8 hours ago

after, AI, bathroom, bathroom break, behavior, break, clocking, clocking in, coming, human, human behavior, humor, ID, job, jobs, poop, productivity, right, take, toilet, work, workplace
Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

17 hours ago

attitude, carry, comeback, coming, confidence, fruit, humor, me, never, phase, shade, tree
The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

21 hours ago

buy, coming, humor, hyperfixation, impulse, impulse buy, looking, merch, need, regret, shopping, sobering, sobering up, worst
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

1 day ago

avoidance, cancel, coming, commitment, even, excuse, excuse phrase, flake, humor, never, no show, phrase, sarcasm, show
Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

1 day ago

anxiety, big, boundary, causing, coming, cortisol, home, house, humor, mood, stress, wellness
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

2 days ago

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged
Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

5 days ago

adjustment, after, civilian, civilian life, coming, daily, daily life, entertainment, home, homecoming, humor, i, life, movie, sometimes, struggle
Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

7 days ago

closer, coming, culture, day, dystopia, every, future, humor, Idiocracy, pop, pop culture, prediction, satire, society, true
There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

2 weeks ago

adult, adults, building, built, cavalry, coming, everything, humor, intelligence, people, room, self-reliance, smarter
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

3 weeks ago

chores, cleaning, coming, hour, house, humor, i, just, less, maid, me, motivation, need, once, panic-cleaning, procrastination, someone, tell, visit, visitor, week

For even more funny coming quotes, hit next 👇

All funny coming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

89 shares on Slack this month:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

69 shares on Slack this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

67 shares on WeChat this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

28 shares on Discord this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Making waves on Threads:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Making waves on Instagram:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Making waves on Discord:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Going viral on Twitch:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just landed via YouTube:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

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