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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

34 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Just shared via Telegram:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Live now on Snapchat:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Shared recently on Discord:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Trending via X:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Going viral on Reddit:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Spotted on Instagram:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Home » Funny Coming Quotes

39 Funny coming quotes

Funny coming quotes are the secret ingredient to adding a sprinkle of laughter to any moment 😄✨ Whether you’re looking to lighten up a conversation or simply want a giggle, these hilarious quips pack a punch of humor 😂😜 Get ready to chuckle as we dive into a collection of witty and whimsical lines that will leave you smiling from ear to ear 😁🎉 Perfect for sharing with friends or enjoying a solo laugh fest!

New funny coming quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Commentary:
Time to trade in my work shoes for orthopedic ones, but watch out—Monday still sneaks up like a ninja! 😂👟➡️🩼
6 days ago
Share →: The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Commentary:
I guess they didn't have "train-ing" for that back then! 🚂😱😂
1 week ago
Share →: I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Commentary:
Sounds like prime pajama time! 😴🛌🕘
1 week ago
Share →: I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Commentary:
Arrr matey, I'm in! Just as long as there's WiFi on the ship for posting selfies with the kraken 📱🌊🦑
1 week ago
Share →: This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Commentary:
When your stomach is stuck in the greatest plot twist of all snack time 🍬😂🤔
1 week ago
Share →: Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Commentary:
"Guess I'll hold the fort here on Earth! 🚪🤦‍♂️🛸🌕"
1 week ago
Share →: If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱‍👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
1 week ago
Share →: Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Commentary:
"Is it my joints or my morning cereal? 🤔🔍😂 #MysterySounds #SeniorSymphony"
2 weeks ago
Share →: A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Commentary:
"She pulled a magic trick: now you see her, now you don’t! 🎩🪄🚪"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Commentary:
"😂 AI can take my job, but can it handle my caffeine-induced anxiety? I doubt it! ☕🤖💥"

For even more funny coming quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny coming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

34 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Trending via Discord:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Going viral on Discord:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

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