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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Just shared via Facebook:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Making waves on X:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Live now on YouTube:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Live now on YouTube:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Home » Funny Confidence Quotes » Page 26

255 Funny confidence quotes

More funny confidence quotes 👇

Jan 20, 2025
Share →: My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Commentary:
"Who needs big chances when you've got big thighs? 💁‍♀️ Embrace your thunder thighs and conquer the world – one squat at a time! 🏋️‍♀️💪 #ThighsOfSteel #LifeGoals"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Commentary:
"Rocking the 'I woke up like this… and stayed like this' look with unmatched confidence! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a mirror when you've got self-love shining through? 🌟 #UglyIsTheNewBeautiful"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Commentary:
"Who needs a time machine when you've got your high school earrings to transport you back to the glory days 🕰️💁‍♀️ Talk about vintage chic! Just remember, trends may come and go, but apparently, earring size remains eternal 😂💎 #TimelessFashion"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Commentary:
"Watch out world, this potential is just simmering under the surface! 🔥 Let's sprinkle some kindness, might as well stay on the good side of the future superstar! 🌟😎"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Commentary:
"Who needs a gentle dive when you can make a splashy entrance like a boss? 💦😎 Watch out for flying conclusions, coming in hot! 🔥 #CannonballMaster"

For even more funny confidence quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Breaking via Slack:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Breaking via TikTok:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Trending via WeChat:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

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