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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Just shared via Twitch:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Just landed via Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Live now on TikTok:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Spotted on Pinterest:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Funny consumer price quotes

New funny consumer price quotes 👇

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

7 days ago

automation, cashier, cashiers, consumer, consumer price, debate, economy, living, living wage, paying, price, prices, retail, self-checkout, wage, wage debate, why

All funny consumer price quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

87 shares on Instagram this month:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

44 shares on Threads this month:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

83 shares on Threads this month:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Long story short, I survived.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Spotted on Twitch:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Trending via Slack:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Breaking via WeChat:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny consumer price quotes

New funny consumer price quotes 👇

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

All funny consumer price quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨