33 Funny contradiction quotes

• I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

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  11 hours ago

  alone, brain, contradiction, emotion, heart, humor, i, loneliness, love, loved, wants

• People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

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  14 hours ago

  active, activity, both, contradiction, exercise, humor, laziness, lazy, people, same, stairs, step, steps, take, time, walking

• People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

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  20 hours ago

  before, behavior, contradiction, here, humor, i, irony, never, people, say

• Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

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  21 hours ago

  contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work

• But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

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  21 hours ago

  contradiction, good, humor, i, me, preference, relationship, self-awareness, someone, want

• Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

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  3 weeks ago

  bible, Bible quote, bio, contradiction, dating, DM, humor, match, media, message, profile, social, social media

• The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

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  1 month ago

  actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

• I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

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  1 month ago

  am, bored, boredom, contradiction, emotional, emotional contradiction, feelings, humor, i, irony, mixed, mixed feelings, overwhelmed, same, time

• Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

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  1 month ago

  alive, asexual, being, contradiction, feels, humor, identity, pornstar, sometimes

• Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

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  2 months ago

  8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear

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