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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Breaking via Telegram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Trending via Slack:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Shared recently on Threads:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Shared recently on Threads:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Going viral on Slack:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

24 Funny costume quotes

Funny costume quotes 🎭 are the perfect way to add extra laughs 😂 to any party or Halloween bash! Whether you’re rocking a spooky look 👻 or a quirky character 🎉, these witty sayings bring out the fun and creativity in every outfit. Get ready to turn heads, spark smiles 😄, and share some costume humor that’s as unforgettable as your getup! 🎉✨

New funny costume quotes 👇

For even more funny costume quotes, hit next 👇

All funny costume quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

24 shares on Messenger this month:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

15 shares on Slack this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being socially awkward. It’s just that I’m socially awkward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Trending via Instagram:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Spotted on Threads:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Just landed via Facebook:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Live now on X:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Trending via TikTok:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Just shared via Threads:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

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