41 Funny dad quotes

• Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

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  1 week ago

  anyone, blast, concern, dad, distraction, else, family, father, full, habit, house, humor, just, loud, phone, phones, video, videos, volume, watch

• My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

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  1 week ago

  boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever

• Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

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  1 week ago

  dad, every, family, humor, i, mom, parent, reaction, refund, relationship, sarcasm, something, stares, stupid, time, wants

• Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

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  1 week ago

  ahead, back, competition, dad, driving, family, family trip, hard, hate, hour, humor, last, pass, passing, road, road trip, stopping, trip, vehicle

• Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

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  1 week ago

  acceptable, dad, family, humor, i, life, never, sneeze, volume

• At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

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  1 week ago

  adult, adult humor, American, American Dad, animation, cartoon, comedy, dad, family, Family Guy, graduate, guy, humor, life, life stage, point, show, stage, TV, TV Show

• You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

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  1 week ago

  apology, bring, childhood, dad, family, feelings, humor, hurt, i, mistake, tool, tools, used, wrong

• My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

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  1 week ago

  absence, absent, dad, family, humor, identity, presence, present, relationship, secret, thing, third

• Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

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  1 week ago

  annoyance, around, back, behind, dad, disgust, everything, fun, hands, hands behind back, looking, mild, much, right, walking

• I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

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  1 week ago

  airflow, childhood, conversation, dad, family, father, home, humor, i, miss, opening, talking, ventilation, Windows

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