Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Spotted on X:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Just shared via Messenger:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Live now on Threads:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

Seen just now on Threads:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Funny daily task quotes

Funny daily task quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 to your everyday to-do list 📋, turning mundane chores into moments of joy 🎉. Whether you’re battling laundry piles 🧺 or endless emails 📧, these witty words make productivity feel less like work and more like a fun game 🎮. Get ready to smile 😄 and tackle tasks with a lighter heart 💪!

New funny daily task quotes 👇

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

5 days ago

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Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

1 week ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

1 week ago

bathroom, bed, bed to bathroom, brushing, chore, daily, daily task, day, effort, feels, frustration, getting, harder, humor, just, night, nighttime, nighttime routine, pissed, routine, task, teeth, thinking, tooth, tooth brushing, walking, working

All funny daily task quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

God bless the student essay that is so confused and rambling, there is zero chance that they used AI.

12 shares on Slack this month:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

92 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

50 shares on Discord this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Shared recently on Instagram:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Making waves on X:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Live now on TikTok:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

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