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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Spotted on TikTok:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Live now on Telegram:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Going viral on TikTok:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Home » Funny Dark Humor Quotes

61 Funny dark humor quotes

Funny dark humor quotes are like a mischievous wink in the world of comedy, perfectly blending laughter and a touch of the unexpected 😂💀. They dance on the edge, tickling our funny bones while revealing those deliciously awkward truths we secretly love to acknowledge 🤭. If you enjoy a chuckle with a side of edginess, these quotes are your go-to for a humor fix that’s both daring and delightful! 🌟

New funny dark humor quotes 👇

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

0

2 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
All I think about is death and sex.

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3 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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2 months ago

dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick
What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

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2 months ago

adversity, dark, dark humor, humor, kill, resilience, sense, survival, twisted, wit
Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

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2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin
The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

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2 months ago

dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

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2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

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2 months ago

age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want
Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, best, beverage, comedy, dark, dark humor, humor, joke, satire, war, wine, WWIII
Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

0

2 months ago

blood, blood ritual, dark, dark humor, full, full moon, humor, moon, obscene, occult, ritual, rituals, under

For even more funny dark humor quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dark humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

Mike is short for Micycle.

24 shares on Discord this month:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

99 shares on Slack this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

61 shares on Slack this month:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

43 shares on X this month:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

27 shares on Discord this month:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,813

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Going bananas on TikTok:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Shared recently on Discord:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Breaking via Facebook:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Making waves on Discord:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Freshly posted on Slack:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

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