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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,968

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Trending via X:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Going viral on Twitch:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Going viral on X:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Going viral on YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Trending via X:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Home » Funny Dark Humor Quotes

61 Funny dark humor quotes

Funny dark humor quotes are like a mischievous wink in the world of comedy, perfectly blending laughter and a touch of the unexpected 😂💀. They dance on the edge, tickling our funny bones while revealing those deliciously awkward truths we secretly love to acknowledge 🤭. If you enjoy a chuckle with a side of edginess, these quotes are your go-to for a humor fix that’s both daring and delightful! 🌟

New funny dark humor quotes 👇

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

0

2 weeks ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
All I think about is death and sex.

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3 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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2 months ago

dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick
What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

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2 months ago

adversity, dark, dark humor, humor, kill, resilience, sense, survival, twisted, wit
Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

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2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, dark, dark humor, headline, humor, mistake, news, news headline, sister, suicidal, tragedy, twin
The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, dead, death, humor, keep, keeping, only, people, secret, secret keeping, three, trust
I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

0

2 months ago

attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong
80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

0

2 months ago

age, anything, comment, comment section, dark, dark humor, dead, death, full, future, humor, humor quote, internet, mortality, people, sarcasm, section, time, want
Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, best, beverage, comedy, dark, dark humor, humor, joke, satire, war, wine, WWIII
Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

0

2 months ago

blood, blood ritual, dark, dark humor, full, full moon, humor, moon, obscene, occult, ritual, rituals, under

For even more funny dark humor quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dark humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Threads this month:

I remember sex. That was cool.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

99 shares on Threads this month:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

54 shares on Discord this month:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,068

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Going viral on Facebook:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Making waves on Telegram:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Going viral on Threads:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Spotted on Telegram:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

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