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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Spotted on Slack:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Seen just now on Instagram:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Trending via Slack:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Shared recently on Messenger:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Going viral on Reddit:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Going viral on WeChat:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

68 Funny dark humor quotes

Funny dark humor quotes are like a mischievous wink in the world of comedy, perfectly blending laughter and a touch of the unexpected 😂💀. They dance on the edge, tickling our funny bones while revealing those deliciously awkward truths we secretly love to acknowledge 🤭. If you enjoy a chuckle with a side of edginess, these quotes are your go-to for a humor fix that’s both daring and delightful! 🌟

New funny dark humor quotes 👇

Such is modern life. Mordor in our midst.

5 days ago

daily, daily life, dark, dark humor, fantasy, humor, life, lord, Lord of the Rings, modern, modern life, Mordor, rings
Long shower. Fresh sheets. Hair braided. Lights off. Candle glowing. Room smells incredible. Airplane crash videos on.

5 days ago

airplane, airplane crash video, braid, candle, crash, dark, dark humor, fresh, glowing, hair, hair braid, humor, incredible, irony, light, light off, lights, relaxation, room, room smell, sheet, sheets, shower, smell, smells, video, videos
(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

5 days ago

dark, dark humor, grindset, guy, humor, i, jump, motivational, motivational parody, parody, penthouse, suicidal
I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

5 days ago

dark, dark humor, devil, humor, i, joke, rejection, said, selling, selling soul, soul, tried
I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

5 days ago

actually, charming, dark, dark humor, guillotine, humor, i, let, me, sarcasm, wit
(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

5 days ago

before, compliment, cool, dark, dark humor, executioner, humor, i, irony, last, last words, met, unexpected, unexpected compliment, wish, words
Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

5 days ago

accidental, accidental humor, accidentally, awkwardness, concern, dark, dark humor, health, help, humor, i, mental, mental health, normal, normal people, people, social, social awkwardness, used
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

6 days ago

box, dark, dark humor, heart, hoodie, humor, i, love, me, sarcasm, want
All I think about is death and sex.

6 days ago

dark, dark humor, death, humor, i, mind, obsession, sex, think, thought
And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

6 days ago

dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick

For even more funny dark humor quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dark humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

14 shares on X this month:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

73 shares on X this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Live now on Twitch:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Breaking via Messenger:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴