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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,614

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Spotted on Telegram:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Making waves on Discord:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

24 shares on X this month:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

25 shares on Discord this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Time needs a speed limit.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

22 shares on Threads this month:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,939

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Just shared via Slack:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Going viral on Twitch:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

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