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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Breaking via Threads:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Spotted on Facebook:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Breaking via Slack:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Just shared via Discord:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Going viral on WeChat:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Home » Funny Dating Quotes » Page 34

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, dating, dilemma, drive, humor, i, purse, put, relationship, want, where
My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

0

2 months ago

checklist, dating, humor, relationship, standards, Unabomber
Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

0

2 months ago

block, dating, getting-to-know-you, humor, interaction, just, me, phase, relationship, sarcasm, skip, social, social interaction
Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

0

2 months ago

app, apps, dating, dating app, find people, finding, humor, Instagram, media, online, online dating, opinion, people, relationship, social, social media, story, watch
I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

0

2 months ago

dating, everyone, expectations, humor, relationship, self-reflection, shortcomings, single
Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

0

2 months ago

commitment, commitment issue, dating, humor, issue, issues, love, low, oh, relationship, sarcasm, self-worth, situationship
A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, dating app, humor, IQ, irony, low, low IQ, meet, ok, OK Stupid, online, online dating, people, relationships, stupid
Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

0

2 months ago

app, challenge, dating, difficulty, humor, level, love, online, online dating, option, relationship, search, searching, settings, turn
Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

0

2 months ago

comparison, culture, dating, feel, gen, Gen Z, humor, last, marriage, married, nostalgia, observation, people, pop, pop culture, relationship, Vietnam, watch, z

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Discord this month:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Going viral on TikTok:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Spotted on TikTok:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Going bananas on Discord:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Making waves on Slack:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Just landed via Discord:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Trending via YouTube:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Going viral on Facebook:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Activity Log ✨

491 Funny dating quotes

More funny dating quotes 👇

All funny dating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨