Funny quotes » diet » Page 4

111 Funny diet quotes

More funny quotes on this topic 👇

  • The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone’s trying to turn their s’mores into a balanced meal! 🍢🥦 Dr. Veggie must be steaming like a pot of boiling water right now! 🔥😂 #MarshmallowMathematics”

  • I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

    Commentary:
    “Talk about precision cutting! 🍞✂️ Who knew carbs could be so high maintenance? One bite-sized piece at a time, that’s the way to go! 😂 #CarbSlicingPro”

  • Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that the secret to human evolution was carbs and couch surfing? 🍕🛋️💪 #SurvivalOfTheWellFed”

  • If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a boring salad when you can have a ‘salad on crust’ with extra cheese for that touch of irony? 🥗🍕 #PizzaIsMyKindOfSalad”

  • Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

    Commentary:
    🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there’s a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️

  • Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs pancakes when you can have waffle abs instead? 💪🥞 Just like that, breakfast becomes a workout routine! 😄💥 #WaffleGoals”

  • I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs fancy diet plans when you’ve got the ‘broke until payday’ regime! 🤑🥗 It’s the ultimate test of willpower and budgeting skills. Just remember, you’re not hungry, you’re just financially disciplined! 😂💸 #DietGoals”

  • I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

    Commentary:
    “I’m on this new diet where my breakfast conversations are limited to coffee and silence ☕️😂 Who needs chatty food anyway?!”

  • I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘healthy’ diet move – ordering a buffalo chicken quesadilla and calling it a ‘healthy option’. 🌶️🧀😂 Who knew that cheesy goodness could be seen as a diet food! Keep up the good work, gentlemen, you’re really nailing this whole healthy eating thing! 🍗🥑🤣”

Advertisement

Trending Topics

activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm self-deprecation sleep social someone technology think time want work