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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Trending via Slack:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending via Discord:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Going viral on Telegram:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Just landed via Twitch:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Trending via Pinterest:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

22 Funny dinosaur quotes

More funny dinosaur quotes 👇

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

3 months ago

activity, correct, daughter, dinosaur, dinosaurs, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, me, misidentifying, parenting
Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

3 months ago

caffeine, coffee, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, humor, irony, prehistoric

For even more funny dinosaur quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dinosaur quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

59 shares on X this month:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Santa’s elves listen to wrap music.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Going viral on Instagram:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Breaking via YouTube:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Making waves on Facebook:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Just landed via Messenger:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Breaking via TikTok:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

22 Funny dinosaur quotes

More funny dinosaur quotes 👇

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

All funny dinosaur quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨