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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Shared recently on Threads:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Just shared via Discord:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Going viral on Reddit:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Trending via WeChat:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Just landed via WeChat:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Trending via Messenger:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Just shared via Reddit:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Just landed via Telegram:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Reported on YouTube:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Going viral on Threads:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Reported on Reddit:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Trending via Pinterest:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Breaking via YouTube:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Just landed via Discord:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

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