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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Trending via Pinterest:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Blink if you want me!

Reported on Discord:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Going viral on Messenger:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Breaking via Pinterest:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Going viral on Twitch:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Shared recently on Slack:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

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