Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Trending via Messenger:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Shared recently on WeChat:

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Going viral on Instagram:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

Just shared via Twitch:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Breaking via Telegram:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

71 Funny done quotes

More funny done quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

3 months ago

brag, done, hours, humor, idleness, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, relaxation

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All funny done quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Feel like if a bunch of gays were stranded on a desert island, they’d all drop that voice thing in, like, a day.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

38 shares on Discord this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Going viral on Threads:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Making waves on Twitch:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Broadcasted on X:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Just shared via Threads:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

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Activity Log ✨

71 Funny done quotes

More funny done quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

All funny done quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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