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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Shared recently on Threads:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Making waves on TikTok:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Shared recently on Threads:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Just shared via Threads:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Making waves on X:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Just landed via Slack:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Live now on YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Funny donkey quotes

Funny donkey quotes 🐴😄 bring a delightful mix of wit and charm that’ll brighten your day! Whether you’re a fan of these stubborn yet lovable creatures or just need a good laugh, these playful sayings are sure to kick up some smiles. Get ready for some hoof-tapping humor and donkey business that’s as clever as it is entertaining! 🎉🐾✨

New funny donkey quotes 👇

All funny donkey quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

87 shares on TikTok this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Going viral on Messenger:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Breaking via X:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Trending via WeChat:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Making waves on X:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

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