Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Commentary:
"Looks like the 'dumbing down' strategy will have to wait! 😜 Maybe sticking with reality TV for now is the safer bet! 🍻 #CheersToClearMinds"
6 months ago
Share →: I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Commentary:
"Ah, a true connoisseur of the finer things in life! 🍷💬😬 Who needs boring hobbies when you can excel at the art of intriguing conversation and keeping things spicy? Cheers to being fabulously unconventional! 🥂💁‍♂️😜"
6 months ago
Share →: For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Commentary:
"Who needs deep conversations when you've got a bottle to pour out all your woes? 🍷 Thanksgiving goals: keep the wine flowing and the questions to a minimum! 😂 #CheersToAvoidingAwkwardChats"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Commentary:
Ahoy there, matey! ☕️💪 Looks like we've got a Popeye in the making! Just remember, with great coffee comes great responsibility… and an undeniable urge to flex your muscles and shout, "I yam what I yam!" 💪😄 Keep chugging that coffee and watch out for any sudden urges to grow a sweet sailor's tattoo! ⚓️🌊 #CoffeePowersActivate 🚀
6 months ago
Share →: If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's setting the bar 🍺🔝 pretty high for drinking anecdotes! 🚓😂 So, who's ready to dial 911 for a good time? 🚨🥂 #DrunkAndDisorderly"
6 months ago
Share →: Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Commentary:
🍵 "Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything."

Ah, the power of green tea – the elixir of life, the answer to all our problems, the ultimate solution to world peace! Who needs superheroes when you have a cup of green tea, right? Sip away, my friend, and let the magic unfold! ✨🍵 #TeaFixesEverything
6 months ago
Share →: Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fancy alarm clock when you have a scalding cup of coffee ready to jolt you awake! ☕️😳 Nothing quite gets the heart racing like the sensation of liquid fire on your lap… definitely a wake-up call you won't forget in a hurry! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Commentary:
"Drinking at home: where the only bartender judging you is your cat 🐱💸 #fiftybuckslighter"
6 months ago
Share →: Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

Commentary:
Ah, the great divide between professions! 💩 For nurses, loose stool is just another day at work, while for bartenders, it's a definite sign something went wrong with the cocktail recipe! 🍹😂 Just remember, context is everything in the world of bodily functions and mixed drinks! 🩺🍻
6 months ago
Share →: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old wisdom that beauty is truly in the eye of the beer holder 🍺👀! A perfect reminder that sometimes a cold pint can make anything or anyone look more appealing 😄. Cheers to seeing the world through beer-tinted glasses! 🍻✨